The coin toss

Some decisions are really hard. I'm not all that fast at making decisions at the best of times, but sometimes there are two really good options and it doesn't matter which one I go with. In these cases, the coin comes out. Heads is the green one, tails is the blue one. Flip coin, decision made.

But whenever this has happened to me, I tend to toss the coin and then choose the option which goes against the results of the toss. My housemate considers this dreadful. He can't understand why, having decided that it's too close to call, I can't stick with the coin toss. It took me ages to work out the reason for it, but I think I've got it now.

I reckon it's because I resent being told what to do by a bit of metal. Or perhaps more accurately, I don't like not being able to have something that is good, even if I have a different good thing, when I didn't choose to not have it. The coin tells me 'you can't have the green' to which I respond 'but I really like the green' but if the coin had said I couldn't have the blue, I would probably go for the blue, because I like the blue as well.

This explains why I didn't toss a coin for my decisions about MTS. Other than the fact that they are probably too big to make with twenty cents, obviously. The thing is, I always wanted to work in Newcastle. It's home. But I wanted to make sure I didn't choose based entirely in what I fell like but also on how I can serve others, and how I can grow as well, so I decided to check out Perth unis.

Anyway, I could have decided in the thoroughly blibical method of drawing lots,which would have definitely put me where God wants me to be, but then if the coin had said

Conversations

There's nothing like talking to clarify one's thoughts. This is why I talk to myself so much. I don't think very well inside my head, so I say it out loud, even if there is no one else around. Nice as this is, it is considered odd, and I sometimes find that having another person to talk to even more useful, especially since they might think of things that I lack the broadmindedness to come up with. So when I went back to NSW for a few weeks I had some great conversions about MTS with... Well pretty much anybody who would listen. These included: my parents, various friends, current AFES staffworkers at Newcastle uni, and a current MTS trainee. Unfortuanately I am amazingly lazy, especially when it comes to blogging, with the result of forgetting a lot of important things before I ge the motivation to write them down. Here is the summary of my chats with folks, such as I remember them. Parents: they think I should do it, that it would be good for me, but I should be prepared for how hard it will be. AFES workers in Newcastle: would be happy to have me and I should decide by June for financial reasons. I was mildly hoping that they would say something like "it's good that you're keen, but we're not sure this is really for you." It would have been a blow to my pride, but also a lovely excuse to have an easy life. Oddly enoughg, the time limit is a good thing It will (hopefully) prevent some of the more extreme procrastination to which I am prone. Friends: mostly "that's pretty exciting" and listening to me talk about it. MTS trainee LG: probably the most helpful conversation. This was a mostly one-sided conversation where I listened to h talk about her experiences, the good bits, the bad bits, joys and struggles. She is a good talker, and said lots of things, some of which I knew or had thought of, some of which were new and interesting. - Work doesn't just happen when you're working, it can happen any and all the time, and parties can end up being difficult rather than relaxing. - The relationship with the trainer is an odd one. It's not really boss, or friend, or teacher, but a strange mixture of all those things with perhaps a few other things thrown in. - Students are hard to get to sign up and commit to things. This I knew. Everybody knows that. - It gets hard, but there are plentiful holidays. I'm sure there was more (LG talked for ages!) but that's all I can remember right now.

There's no place like home...

At some point I'll have to decide where I want to do my traineeship. I want to work at a university, but there are plenty of unis, all around Australia and the world where I could conceivably complete MTS. So how do I decide where to go?

The first place I think of is Newcastle uni, where I studied. I have a historyther, already know the staff, the culture, the geography, some of the students, that sort of thing. On top of all this, mosquitoes notwithstanding, I miss Newcastle. So that is an option.

I could stay where I am and work in a uni in Perth. I only know one staffworker in all of the unis here, so I would most likely be with a trainer I have not known for a long time. That could be an issue. My current home is not really that close to any unis. All that being the case, there is a very strong argument that there is a greater need in Perth. There are just less Christians here. Also there are bunch of unis, some of which are quite small, an option I rather like.

Along with these options is the fact that I could go anywhere, providing it has some sort of uni ministry for me to join. I am not restricted to where I have already been. This seems to me like making a difficult road even hard, so I will probably not follow it, but God may have other plans.

My next jobs are then to talk to the people who work here in Perth as well as in Newy to work out what... to do...