The coin toss

Some decisions are really hard. I'm not all that fast at making decisions at the best of times, but sometimes there are two really good options and it doesn't matter which one I go with. In these cases, the coin comes out. Heads is the green one, tails is the blue one. Flip coin, decision made.

But whenever this has happened to me, I tend to toss the coin and then choose the option which goes against the results of the toss. My housemate considers this dreadful. He can't understand why, having decided that it's too close to call, I can't stick with the coin toss. It took me ages to work out the reason for it, but I think I've got it now.

I reckon it's because I resent being told what to do by a bit of metal. Or perhaps more accurately, I don't like not being able to have something that is good, even if I have a different good thing, when I didn't choose to not have it. The coin tells me 'you can't have the green' to which I respond 'but I really like the green' but if the coin had said I couldn't have the blue, I would probably go for the blue, because I like the blue as well.

This explains why I didn't toss a coin for my decisions about MTS. Other than the fact that they are probably too big to make with twenty cents, obviously. The thing is, I always wanted to work in Newcastle. It's home. But I wanted to make sure I didn't choose based entirely in what I fell like but also on how I can serve others, and how I can grow as well, so I decided to check out Perth unis.

Anyway, I could have decided in the thoroughly blibical method of drawing lots,which would have definitely put me where God wants me to be, but then if the coin had said

Did I get the job?

Short answer: no. I didn't fail, but rather the whole conversation led me to the conclusion that I don't want to train in Perth. Hooray, a decision is made! And! The other major decision, 'When?' is also pretty much made. I am to begin at the start of 2014. This is less than certain, but it's heading that way. Next step is to inform important people of my decisions.

There were heaps of useful things I got out of the conversation with Rosemary though, other than 'I don't want to stay here.' We had a game of Who Do We Both Know, starting with my parents (who know everybody). We talked about long term plans, trainer/trainee relationships, what is available in Perth, lots of other things which I forget. The thing I hadn't thought of was that I should try to raise support for MTS and keep my savings for if I go to Bible college. There you go.

Coming up: why I don't make decisions with coins!

Feeling nervous

So the email thread has resulted in a meeting, I won't bore you with the ins and outs. It's in half an hour. I'm nervous because I need to go to bed in three hours and worry about how much time I will spend there, and also because I now realise I have nothing to say. I can't think of any questions, and don't really have any intelligent, easily shareable thoughts as far as I can see. There are lots of things I want to say (rant about), but since I have never met Rosemary before, I don't know if I will actually say them. But I'm essentially going to an interview, without a hint of preparation. I did spend a bit of time picking my outfit and worrying about my fringe. I wanted to imply "I'm a cool, modest, frugal uni-student type, who can hide an overly long fringe when required." we shall see how successful I will be. Stay tuned...

Church tourism

I while ago I visited a Catholic church with my friend. Last Sunday I decided to visit a church chosen entirely based on geography: the nearest church to my house. This turned out to be a Uniting church. The only thing I know about the Uniting Church as an organisation is that it is a bit of a conglomeration of a bunch of other denominations: Methodists, Presbyterians and Congregationals according to Wikipedia.

Now, I could spend ages talking about music, robes, demographics, buildings, sermon length, morning tea, welcomedness, or any of a whole raft of things we love to discuss when talking about churches. But really, whether these things are good or bad, they pale into insignificance when placed next to the great failing of this church: they have lost the gospel. In his sermon on Acts 1, the minister failed to mention the promise of the Holy Spirit, the expectation of the spread of the gospel, the historicity of the resurrection, the promise of the return of Christ, or anything else that the passage really mentioned. Instead, he reached the conclusion that heaven (to be fair, it is mentioned three times in the passage) is present on earth, achieved by Christians taking part in social action. He referred to an article in Time magazine to support this. During the service, a young woman stood up and spoke about what the youth of the Uniting Church had decided was important, namely, social justice. She read a statement composed by the delgates at a recent youth leadership conference which listed Aboriginal rights, assistance for immigrants and refugees, and reducing the gap between rich and poor as high priorities (among others which I forget).

Now, I should say that these things are very important, but here they have been placed in the centre, a position rightfully belonging to Jesus. Signing up to causes and raising awareness of social issues has taken the place of boldly proclaiming Christ's death and resurrection, and the forgiveness of sins to those who believe. This pattern continued as I went for coffee with a couple of girls afterwards. One of the girls described the Christian group at her university as a bit crazy, implying that they took evangelism too far at the expense of being sensitive to the needs of those they preached to. Maybe that is true, but the Bible shows that forgiveness is the greatest need anybody has (Matt 9:1-8), so surely it would be preferable to be too bold and cause offence, rather than be over careful and withhold salvation.

As always, it took two days for the good responses to come to me, but at the very least I have been encouraged again to be bold and hold fast to the message of the cross which is the power of God for salvation.

Responses to emails

Are much easier. Why? Because the subject line is already filled in! Tim gets it easy, his subject line is Re:MTS and it comes up automatically. So, yeah, the point of that is that I got a response to my email from last week. He thought it was great that I was considering MTS and thought Perth was definitely a possibility, probably UWA, and instructed me to contact his wife, Rosemary, which I have duly done. I was not fast at this because I kind of expected her to contact me, since she had my email address too. She didn't and eventually it occurred to me that it was probably my job to be the proactive one. So I emailed her, suggesting a face to face meeting, to which she has not yet replied, due to it only being about two minutes ago. I suppose you're thinking to yourself "Why didn't she just copy and paste the emails like she did last time?" Well let me tell you! It's because for some reason my iPad wouldn't let me select more than one word at a time to copy. Yep. I'm that tech savvy. So anyway, here we are, several inappropriately long sentences later, and you know that I have received one email, and sent one email. Stay tuned for more excitement coming your way at some point in the future!

The hardest part of the email to write

Is totally the subject line. You know, the bit where you summarise in five words or less what the email is going to be about. But what if it's just an email saying hi and telling the news. My mum always writes 'From Mum' or 'From Diana' which solves the problem of having to think of things, but seems a little redundant given that her email address includes her name. I often go with 'Hi' or 'Yo' but I think I like the idea of starting a sentence in the subject and then continuing it in the email, a technique mastered by my eldest sister and demonstrated by me in this very blog post. But none of those options really seemed appropriate for this email I just sent off: Hi Tim, This is a bit out of the blue, but I have been thinking for a while about starting an MTS traineeship with an AFES group. I go to Redemption Church in Claremont and currently work full time. I'm originally from over east, near Newcastle, but moved over here for work. Although my default plan is to work in Newcastle where I studied and know people, I want to explore my options a little before I jump in. This leads me to the question: is there a possibility of doing MTS at a Perth uni? I hope to start next year or maybe the year after. Cheers, Heather Sent from my iPad [I can probably stop this pretentious little line from concluding all my emails, but for reasons that I can't explain, I never do] So what goes in the subject line? I've never really met Tim, although we have been in the same room before, and I don't want to give too much away too soon. Anyway, I went with 'MTS' lacking in creativity though it may be.

Conversations

There's nothing like talking to clarify one's thoughts. This is why I talk to myself so much. I don't think very well inside my head, so I say it out loud, even if there is no one else around. Nice as this is, it is considered odd, and I sometimes find that having another person to talk to even more useful, especially since they might think of things that I lack the broadmindedness to come up with. So when I went back to NSW for a few weeks I had some great conversions about MTS with... Well pretty much anybody who would listen. These included: my parents, various friends, current AFES staffworkers at Newcastle uni, and a current MTS trainee. Unfortuanately I am amazingly lazy, especially when it comes to blogging, with the result of forgetting a lot of important things before I ge the motivation to write them down. Here is the summary of my chats with folks, such as I remember them. Parents: they think I should do it, that it would be good for me, but I should be prepared for how hard it will be. AFES workers in Newcastle: would be happy to have me and I should decide by June for financial reasons. I was mildly hoping that they would say something like "it's good that you're keen, but we're not sure this is really for you." It would have been a blow to my pride, but also a lovely excuse to have an easy life. Oddly enoughg, the time limit is a good thing It will (hopefully) prevent some of the more extreme procrastination to which I am prone. Friends: mostly "that's pretty exciting" and listening to me talk about it. MTS trainee LG: probably the most helpful conversation. This was a mostly one-sided conversation where I listened to h talk about her experiences, the good bits, the bad bits, joys and struggles. She is a good talker, and said lots of things, some of which I knew or had thought of, some of which were new and interesting. - Work doesn't just happen when you're working, it can happen any and all the time, and parties can end up being difficult rather than relaxing. - The relationship with the trainer is an odd one. It's not really boss, or friend, or teacher, but a strange mixture of all those things with perhaps a few other things thrown in. - Students are hard to get to sign up and commit to things. This I knew. Everybody knows that. - It gets hard, but there are plentiful holidays. I'm sure there was more (LG talked for ages!) but that's all I can remember right now.

Ash Wednesday Part 2

The last post on this topic was extremely long, so I decided to cut it in two. Hopefully this one will be shorter, although I can't promise anything.

Last time I talked about the church service itself, but now I'd like to consider the content. The catholic church teaches all sorts of things that, as a protestant, I don't believe. Things like Mary being perfect, the pope having the same authority as the bible, their understanding of the Holy Communion. I have problems with all of these, but I didn't encounter that many things I didn't agree with. Bear in mind that I was sitting a fair way back, and couldn't see or hear everything, but as far as I could tell most of the content was pretty similar to the book of common prayer used by a lot of Anglican churches. I participated with most things, although at least once I chose not to say amen because I didn't agree with part of what they said. I think they only mentioned Mary once, and the pope never.

There were two readings, one was Psalm 51, I don't remember what the other one was, but it was a sizeable chunk, probably predetermined and used every year in the Ash Wednesday service. The message was brief and a bit airy-fairy as far as I could tell, but I don't remember anything particularly unbiblical (or, frankly, at all). I've heard worse in Protestant churches.

Although I was told I couldn't take Holy Communion, I think that if I had seriously thought about it (which I didn't at the time, although maybe I would have if I had had the opportunity to decide) I would have chosen not to participate. I think that sharing in communion in any church implies a certain alignment of view, and there is far much that I object to in the teachings of the catholic church, even if it didn't come up in the actual service I went to.

I look forward to having more discussions about Catholocism with my friend. I plan to give her a copy of Nothing in My Hand I Bring, which I found very helpful. It will be interesting to hear her reactions to it.

Ash Wednesday

I had planned to go to a Catholic mass with my friend from work for a while. She had come to Bible study with me a few times, and I thought it fair to return the favour. Also I wanted to have intelligent discussions with about Catholocism, and it's easier to be taken seriously if I have actually been to a mass rather than just reading about it. So, on Ash Wednesday, just before we both went to Bible study run by my church, we went to mass.

It's a worthwhile thing, every now and again, to visit a new church, particularly one quite different from your own. It points out the strengths and weaknesses of your own and other churches. It also makes blindingly obvious the things that are strange and difficult to follow for outsiders. Is it worth explaining every week why we pray, or sing, or participate in communion? How clear should we be about certain rituals, that we do out of habit while a new church-goer is confused and uncertain? Do we stand to sing? Kneel or close our eyes to pray?

I actually found the mass reasonably easy to follow. This surprised me because I had expected a lot of strange ritual and things I didn't understand. Maybe it was easier to understand because it was a special mass, which even semi-regular and lapsed Catholics, and even the non-religious might attend. Maybe my keen Catholic friend sitting next to me and whispering hints into my ear helped me out. There was also an order of service printed nice and large and laminated in all the rows, although I didn't get my hands in this till the end. Still it was quite well done.

They did a few other things well. The two times that we interacted directly with the priest (the Ash bit and the holy communion) were done with tremendous efficiency. We all lined up, ash on head/bit of host and wine, then went back to our seats. It was much faster than any other communion service I've been involved in, although less communityish and more individual servicy.

The building was less ostentatious, with fewer stained-glass windows and statues, than I had expected. It was far less decorated than most of the Anglican churches I have been in. Also, the priests were pretty relaxed, making sure they were shouting loud enough for the people at the back and assuring us that it wouldn't take to long, just like in lots of church services and professional presentations.

It was not without its weaknesses though. If I hadn't been with my friend, I would have missed out on important things. Apparently I'm not supposed to take communion if I haven't done the confirmation course and had my first holy communion. I can still go up to the priest, but I cross my arms over my chest and he blesses me instead. That was nice, in its way, but I think it would be helpful to clarify beforehand otherwise I might have eaten some cardboard and sipped some port unaware of the evil I was perpetrating. I suspect I still made a fool of myself though, because when he blessed me I said "thankyou" instead of "amen." It made more sense at the time.

There's no place like home...

At some point I'll have to decide where I want to do my traineeship. I want to work at a university, but there are plenty of unis, all around Australia and the world where I could conceivably complete MTS. So how do I decide where to go?

The first place I think of is Newcastle uni, where I studied. I have a historyther, already know the staff, the culture, the geography, some of the students, that sort of thing. On top of all this, mosquitoes notwithstanding, I miss Newcastle. So that is an option.

I could stay where I am and work in a uni in Perth. I only know one staffworker in all of the unis here, so I would most likely be with a trainer I have not known for a long time. That could be an issue. My current home is not really that close to any unis. All that being the case, there is a very strong argument that there is a greater need in Perth. There are just less Christians here. Also there are bunch of unis, some of which are quite small, an option I rather like.

Along with these options is the fact that I could go anywhere, providing it has some sort of uni ministry for me to join. I am not restricted to where I have already been. This seems to me like making a difficult road even hard, so I will probably not follow it, but God may have other plans.

My next jobs are then to talk to the people who work here in Perth as well as in Newy to work out what... to do...

Back to the Future

So I'm a little into Back to the Future right now, been introducing my housemate to the franchise and reading a blog about the novelisation of the movie, and basically having a good laugh at it. Btothef.tumblr.com is pretty much my favourite place to hang out at the moment...

Aside from that, it loosely relates to the topic of this post, which is, when do I actually plan to start my MTS traineeship? Short answer: not the foggiest. Slightly longer answer: beginning either '13 or '14.

The longest answer is actually a question: do I want to get stared right away so as not to waste time in a job with no eternal significance, and to make the most of my youth and enthusiasm? Or do I keep my job a bit longer, save some more money, and get a bit older and wiser?

I will make this decision... Later. Talking to people, praying, thinking... These activities will play a big role in my life for the next year. Or two.

Mission statement

So I have decided to do an MTS traineeship. That much is pretty well set, not much else is.

Here is what I know:

MTS

Soon

At a uni

Here is what I am yet to discover:

Where?

When?

With whom?

What is it going to be like?

Pretty much everything.

So this blog is to follow my discovery of these unknowns. I will share my decision making process as I speak to people, think through all the options, stress about everything and generally turn my life upside down. Then it will follow through my two years in MTS, what I do, who I meet, interesting stuff that happens, and my reactions. If I'm really keen I might even continue past MTS but that is for future me to decide. There will also be some amusing asides thrown in, so it's not all heavy stuff.

Basically I'm hoping to be super honest, or as much as I can be. For this reason, and for general coolness, I have adopted a nom de plume. Pearl is not my real name, but if you know me, it shouldn't be too hard to work it out.

I hope that you enjoy, or at least are mildly interested by, this blog, but mostly I pray that God be glorified, and that more people hear his word and trust in the name of Jesus to be saved.

PS. If you don't know what MTS is, check out www.mts.com.au