How are you enjoying MTS?

I have come to dread that question. I don't resent being asked. I appreciate the care people are showing for me and the ministry I'm involved in. I know they're being polite, showing an interest in my life and work, wanting to encourage me in ministry, finding out how I'm going. I rarely answer perfectly honestly. 

I don't much like it. Part of this is that OWeek is hard, week one only a bit less so, I'm still trying to learn people's names, and I spent most of last week with a cold. I haven't had the best time recently. Nothing terrible has happened, but I have been worn down. 

But right now I don't want to continue in full time ministry after my two years of MTS. I didn't before I started either, but I thought I would likely change my mind. It hasn't changed yet, and doesn't feel like it will. 

How do I answer this question? I usually say that it's tiring, and different to my previous job, and that I don't really know what I'm doing. It's true, but not complete. I'm looking at a week of sending emails and calling people who aren't really that keen, where I have to provide all the energy and enthusiasm for the relationship. I'm looking at a semester of meeting people for the first time, then meeting more people, then meeting more people, then see the first people again and forget everything about them. I'm looking at a year ahead when everything looks like a burden, and nothing like a joy.

So how, in the end, am I dealing with this gloominess? To start with, I'm keeping on keeping on. Persevering for the sake of perseverance. It will get easier as I get to know people, set up regular things, work out a balance. There will be more joys as I see people grow in the knowledge and love of God, which will make the hard yards worthwhile. I'm chatting to a few people rather more honestly than the evasive 'tired' response. I'm also trying to learn to rest in God, to find reading his word alone relaxing and invigorating rather than a task to be gotten through.